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John Stones didn’t make much of an impression in the Manchester derby: didn’t register on the headline stats, wasn’t singled out in the post-match montage, didn’t come steaming across to launch a heroic goal-bound siege-tackle, or head the ball away with a conical white bandage twined around his bloodstained brow.

This is usually a good sign when it comes to Stones, a player who only ever seems to get picked out when he makes a mistake, and whose recent run of form in a reconfigured defence provides another convincing argument City may just be ready to reach down and hit a deeper gear this season.

• Striker insists he has ‘never gambled on football’
• Charge believed to relate to loan move to West Brom

Daniel Sturridge has been charged with misconduct in relation to alleged breaches of the Football Association betting rules in January, although the Liverpool striker insists that he has “never gambled on football”.

Even if this is found to be true a guilty verdict could still be returned due to the rules Sturridge is alleged to have contravened being wider than directly betting on the sport.

The latest Manchester derby provided more evidence of a gulf in class but United can bridge the divide with a squad overhaul

Manchester United face a crisis: are they prepared to accept mediocrity or will Ed Woodward, the executive vice-chairman, allow José Mourinho a serious squad overhaul? When wages are factored in the bill for this will run to close to half a billion – as much as United are in debt via their owners, the Glazers. Here is what is required to end United’s stagnation as the one-step forward, one-step back proposition they have become.

Related: José Mourinho’s midfield dogs of war yap harmlessly at City ankles | Jonathan Wilson

• Midfielder must satisfy concerns before signing short-term deal
• West Ham reinstate academy coach but give him final warning

The former Arsenal and Manchester City midfielder Samir Nasri could be set for a return to the Premier League – if he can convince West Ham of his fitness following his doping ban.

Nasri, who played under the West Ham manager Manuel Pellegrini at City, was pencilled in for a medical but would have to satisfy doubts over his fitness before signing the six-month deal on the table which also includes an option to extend his stay.

England’s 16-strong squad selected by Centrepoint have the chance to reconnect with life playing street football in a tournament comprising 500 players from 47 countries

As the clocks went back and another gloomy British winter beckoned, Craig McManus developed an enjoyable daily ritual. “I kept checking the weather forecast for Mexico City,” he said. “It’s been around 23C.”

McManus landed in the Mexican capital on Sunday but his trip is about much more than finding an antidote to vitamin D deprivation. The 43-year-old Glaswegian is a street football coach and senior development officer at Centrepoint, the youth homelessness charity, and he will spend the next week on England’s coaching staff at the Homeless World Cup.

Arsenal forward Danny Welbeck has had two successful operations to repair his broken ankle, the Premier League club have announced.

The 27-year-old faces a long spell on the sidelines after suffering what the club described as a “significant” injury in last week’s goalless Europa League draw against Sporting.

Nicky Butt has admitted Manchester United face a daunting task to restore themselves as “the biggest club in the country but also in the city” after witnessing the staggering progress made by their rivals Manchester City over the past decade.

United’s academy manager, who won six Premier League titles and a Champions League there as a player, was speaking 24 hours after his club’s 3-1 defeat in the derby. That victory took City, the reigning champions, 12 points clear of United.

• Jonathan Klinsmann is a goalkeeper for Hertha Berlin
• Twenty-one year-old was raised in California

Jonathan Klinsmann, the son of German World Cup winner Jürgen Klinsmann, has been added to the USA squad for their upcoming friendlies against England and Italy.

Klinsmann was born in Germany but moved with his parents to California while still an infant. His mother, Debbie, is American and his father coached the US national team between 2011 and 2016.

Before the match, Real Betis’s manager had to apologise for his admiration for Barça. After beating them, Barcelona’s players spoke of their admiration for him

In the final moments before the first half began on Sunday afternoon, Real Betis’s manager, Quique Setién, approached Barcelona midfielder Sergio Busquets and asked him for his shirt. He wanted to frame it, he said. Busquets nodded and smiled, so Setién thanked him and headed out towards the bench at the Camp Nou. As he went, he also had a word with Lionel Messi, whose shirt already hangs on his wall, alongside that of Luka Modric. Messi was returning to action after three weeks out with a broken arm, today of all days, and Setién sidled up to him, greeting him fondly.

“I’d have waited a bit longer, not taken any risks,” he grinned. “I couldn’t,” Messi replied; sitting out was driving him up the wall and he was desperate to play.

Like many 10-year-old boys throughout Britain in the year 2000, Damilola Taylor was a fan of Manchester United, happily in thrall to the team of Ryan Giggs, David Beckham and Andy Cole. He loved playing the game, too. Today, 18 years after he bled to death in the stairwell of a Peckham housing estate, his name is on the youth centre where he practised his skills.

Beyond the fact he had left Lagos for south London a few months earlier with his mother and a sister who needed specialised treatment for epilepsy, a love of football was among the few things that could be used to build a picture of Damilola when the news of his death made headlines in a Britain that could still be shocked by the idea of children killing each other. Now the connection is made all the time in reports of boys dying by violence on the streets. An involvement in rap music is often mentioned. But football is the interest that, by providing the victims with a sense of aspiration, most frequently gives us a clue to who they were.

Max is joined by Barry Glendenning, Philippe Auclair and Marcela Mora y Araujo to discuss City’s win in the Manchester derby, Arsenal and Chelsea dropping points, the Superclásico, Parklife and Sol Bamba’s torso

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Max Rushden is joined by Barry Glendenning, Philippe Auclair and Marcela Mora y Araujo to discuss the weekend of football just gone, starting with the Manchester derby, in which Pep Guardiola and Manchester City continue to display their dominance over all comers.

Guiseley were rewarded for their 4-3 win over Cambridge with a home tie against Joey Barton’s League One side, while Wrexham will host Newport County in a Welsh derby

7.47pm GMT

National League North side Guiseley, who knocked Cambridge United out in a first-round thriller, will host Joey Barton’s Fleetwood Town in the second round after the draw was made on Monday.

Other standout ties will see National League leaders Wrexham face Newport County in an all-Welsh affair, Solihull Moors host 1953 Cup winners Blackpool and Woking travel to Swindon Town, who are managerless after the departure of Phil Brown.

Guiseley v Fleetwood Town
Bury v Luton Town
Wrexham v Newport County
Tranmere or Oxford City v Southport
Southend United or Crawley v Barnsley
Shrewsbury Town or Salford City v Scunthorpe
Solihull Moors v Blackpool
Chesterfield or Billericay Town v Grimsby
Peterborough United v Aldershot or Bradford City
Swindon Town v Woking
Maidstone United v Oldham Athletic
Lincoln City v Carlisle United
Morecambe or Halifax v Wimbledon
Plymouth v Oxford United or Forest Green
Barnet or Bristol Rovers v Stockport County
Rochdale v Portsmouth
Walsall v Sunderland
Accrington Stanley v Ebbsfleet or Cheltenham
Mansfield or Charlton v Chorley or Doncaster
Sutton United or Slough v Gillingham or Hartlepool

7.31pm GMT

Guiseley v Fleetwood Town
Bury v Luton Town
Wrexham v Newport County
Tranmere or Oxford City v Southport
Southend United or Crawley v Barnsley
Shrewsbury Town or Salford City v Scunthorpe
Solihull Moors v Blackpool
Chesterfield or Billericay Town v Grimsby
Peterborough United v Aldershot or Bradford City
Swindon Town v Woking
Maidstone United v Hampton & Richmond or Oldham
Lincoln City v Carlisle United
Morecambe or Halifax v Wimbledon
Plymouth v Oxford United or Forest Green
Barnet or Bristol Rovers v Stockport County
Rochdale v Portsmouth
Walsall v Sunderland
Accrington Stanley v Ebbsfleet or Cheltenham
Mansfield or Charlton v Chorley or Doncaster
Sutton United or Slough v Gillingham or Hartlepool

Kevin De Bruyne is on track to return from his knee injury for Manchester City’s trip to Watford on 4 December and should be fit to face Chelsea away four days later.

De Bruyne injured his left knee ligaments in the Carabao Cup win over Fulham on 1 November and initially expected to be out for up to six weeks. The expectation now is he will be back earlier, because his rehabilitation is progressing smoothly.

• Carlos Izquierdoz own goal ensures River escape with draw
• Ramón Ábila and Darío Benedetto on target for Boca

9.30pm GMT

Boca Juniors and River Plate played out a thrilling 2-2 draw on Sunday in the first leg of their Copa Libertadores final that took place a day later than scheduled due to heavy rain in Argentina.

Ramon Abila put Boca ahead after 34 minutes before Lucas Pratto equalised for the visitors less than two minutes later. Dario Benedetto put Boca ahead again just seconds before halftime but Carlos Izquierdoz put through his own goal after 61 minutes to leave the tie all square.

9.06pm GMT

Anyway ... thanks for joining me. It was a pretty exciting game with a stunning atmosphere and the results was the right one, in my opinion.

Until we meet again.

• Salford stay in hat after draw at Shrewsbury
• Yeovil and Macclesfield exit after Saturday defeats

Guiseley produced one of the biggest shocks in the first round of the FA Cup by beating League Two side Cambridge 4-3 at Nethermoor.

The team 14th in the National League North raced into a 4-0 lead. Will Hatfield’s stunning 30-yard half-volley gave Guiseley a 25th-minute lead and a spectacular mis-hit cross from Cliff Moyo made it 2-0.

When the fourth official raised the board to show there would be five minutes of stoppage time, the Arsenal support booed and the manager, Unai Emery, gestured unhappily.

The home team had just equalised through the substitute Henrikh Mkhitaryan and felt the momentum was with them. They wanted longer in order to find the winner. This is the kind of belief Emery has engendered. Arsenal fight until the finish and they throw everything into attack.

• Fulham manager describes Mohamed Salah’s opener as ‘absurd’
• Jürgen Klopp: ‘We were a bit lucky. It’s not 100% offside’

Slavisa Jokanovic accused the referee Paul Tierney of disrespecting Fulham by disallowing an Aleksandar Mitrovic header 14 seconds before Mohamed Salah’s “absurd” opening goal for Liverpool during Sunday’s game at Anfield. Jürgen Klopp agreed that his team “were a bit lucky” with the offside decision but argued the Serbia striker was level with Andy Robertson because of a foul on the Liverpool left-back.

The Premier League’s bottom club performed well at Anfield but were incensed when a marginal offside call went against Mitrovic with the game goalless. As Fulham complained Liverpool took a quick free‑kick through Alisson – “the ball was still rolling,” added Jokanovic – that led to Salah’s eight goal of the season.

Borussia Dortmund’s victory despite an impressive Bayern Munich performance shows how far they have come and how competitive the German league is this season

The 95 minutes-plus of Der Klassiker – and every extra second of the 47 over the 95, which was felt keenly by Borussia Dortmund’s coach Lucien Favre, pushed up tensely on to the edge of his technical area, waving his arms maniacally – were part of such a dizzying swirl of fluctuating momentums and emotions that it’s hard to pick a moment to distil it.

If we were going to try, though, how about 13 seconds before Paco Alcácer’s winner hit the net as Dortmund, typically for a Favre side, tore Bayern apart at the seams on the counterattack? This was the moment when Jadon Sancho – whose second-half display of incandescent talent and industry eclipsed a flat first period and fully justified his hype – dispossessed Franck Ribéry, so often the focal point of bustling energy in this fixture and rolling back the years to his irrepressible best in Bayern’s lusty first-half display.

Depay has been more effective in Ligue 1 this year than Neymar or Kylian Mbappé but his mentality is holding him back

By Adam White and Eric Devin for Get French Football News

Memphis Depay is not often associated with the words “effective” or “consistent” but he is on a remarkable run. He scored two goals and set up two more as Lyon beat Guingamp 4-2 on Saturday, continuing his brilliant form this year. Depay has either scored or set up 29 of his club’s goals in 2018. That’s more than Kylian Mbappé and Neymar – and every other player in Ligue 1 for that matter. In fact, only Cristiano Ronaldo, Leo Messi and Luis Suárez have been more effective so far this calendar year. However, despite Depay’s newfound end product and a mooted return to Manchester United, his attitude continues to hold him back.

Depay was dropped for Lyon’s 2-1 win at Angers last month but, after coming off the bench to score the winning goal, he berated Lyon coach Bruno Génésio. “I do not always feel like I am a player who is respected,” said the Dutchman. “I do the job each time. I have to accept the decisions of the coach but I deserve more than this and I should be playing every match.”

He may have won five Ballons d’Or since he made his debut 15 years ago this week but the Argentinian is underappreciated

In his new book, Nothing is Real, a collection of essays that stretch and soar across a career spanning five decades, the acclaimed music journalist David Hepworth starts with an essay that tickles and provokes. The Beatles, he suggests, were underrated. Yes, you read that right. Underrated.

You may have raised an eyebrow, given that barely a month goes by without the Fab Four topping some poll or other. But Hepworth maintains that “the richness of their golden period has never been equalled”, with “listeners ricocheting from one hook to another like a metal ball in one of Bally’s machines”. And he insists that for all the “garlands that posterity has placed upon their brow” their genius is underappreciated.

Gattuso warned the striker to stay calm but a missed penalty sent the former Juve talisman spiralling towards a red card

Had Gennaro Gattuso noticed something in training, the first tremors that foretell the eruption of an emotional volcano? Milan’s match against Juventus was always going to bear extra significance for Gonzalo Higuaín, cast aside by the Bianconeri following the arrival of Cristiano Ronaldo this summer. Still, the words spoken by the manager at his pre-game press conference sound prescient with hindsight.

“The way he experiences matches, and the way that his character is, he needs to try to stay calm,” said Gattuso. “Lucidity is required.”

Hugo Lloris ends his madcap day on a high, Everton work out how to stop Chelsea and Salomón Rondón proves his worth

Unai Emery delivered an overdue update on Danny Welbeck, the Arsenal striker who was stricken against Sporting in the Europa League last Thursday. Welbeck, the manager reported, underwent surgery last Friday to repair his badly broken ankle and he will be out for some time. With Welbeck’s contract due to expire at the end of the season, has he played his final game for the club? Emery had more pressing matters with his strikers against Wolves and he made a tactical change at half‑time, switching from 4-2-3-1 to 4-3-1-2 in order to allow Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to come in from the flank and partner Alexandre Lacazette up front. In the first half, Aubameyang had routinely drifted inside from the left. He did not look comfortable in that role. Arsenal would improve to draw 1-1. Is it the best use of Aubameyang’s talents to play him off the wing? David Hytner

Manchester United manager José Mourinho has blamed exertions for his side's 3-1 derby defeat to Premier League leaders Manchester City.

United fought back for a 2-1 victory against the Italian champions Juventus in Turin on Wednesday while City cruised through a home game against Ukrainians Shakhtar Donetsk 6-0.

'Everybody has to agree - it is one thing to go to Juventus and play against one of the best teams in the world for 90 minutes and another thing to beat Shakhtar Donetsk at home 6-0 and be very relaxed. We arrived in different circumstances,' said the Portuguese coach. 

But in contrast with some defeats this season, Mourinho was unwilling to criticise his team's attitude and effort, saying 'for me zero words against my players, everything is positive. I am with them and they are with me.'

• Sportblog: Would Pep Guardiola win the title with this Manchester United squad?
  

For the first time ever city rivals Boca Juniors and River Plate will meet in the final of the Copa Libertadores, South America's most prestigious club trophy. The derby, referred to as the Superclásico, is renowned for its drama, bitterness and the sheer hatred between the two Argentinian sides. The first leg ended in a 2-2 draw at La Bombonera, the home of Boca. The second leg takes place at River's home stadium El Monumental on 24 November

• Buenos Aires 2-0 Brazil: how River and Boca set up a Superclásico final
  

Leicester City players and fans paid an emotional tribute to the club's late owner Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha at the King Power Stadium on Saturday, prior to their match against Burnley. Vichai''s sons Aiyawatt and Apichet were in attendance. It was Leicester's first home game since their owner's death in a helicopter crash at the stadium

Thousands of Leicester City fans marched on Saturday to honour former owner Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha and four others, who were killed when their helicopter crashed following Leicester's previous home match against West Ham. 

Fans gathered in Jubilee Square and marched towards the team's King Power Stadium  ahead of their match with Burnley waving Leicester City and Thai flags, with others holding up banners.

Shkodran Mustafi believes Unai Emery has found the right balance between freedom and discipline on the pitch since taking over at Arsenal.

The Gunners play Sporting Lisbon on Thursday night, looking to extend their unbeaten run to 15 matches and knowing that they will progress to the knockout rounds of the Europa League if they better the result of their Group E rivals ,Vorskla Poltava.

Mustafi, who has yet to feature in the Europa League so far this season, has been impressed with what Emery has changed since being appointed as Arsenal’s head coach in May.

‘For me personally, the biggest thing was that he’s someone who really knows what he wants from each player,’ the Germany international said when asked what Emery has added since replacing Arsène Wenger.

• Eni Aluko: Hats off to Arsenal’s manager – not just Emery but Montemurro too
  

Steven Gerrard, the only footballer ever to score in an FA Cup, Champions League, League Cup and Uefa Cup final, has been reflecting on his triumphs and struggles since joining Liverpool's academy at the age of eight.

In 'Make Us Dream', the Rangers manager said during his playing career he often questioned whether he was "worthy enough" and added that "football is not about turning up and playing, it's about dealing with everything that comes with it."

The documentary will be satellite broadcast to cinemas in the UK on 15 November and then streamed globally on Prime Video.

Our panel of 169 experts from 63 nations compile a list of the greatest male players in 2017. Click on an individual to read more about their year.

• Messi edges Ronaldo to No1 | The data behind our 100 | Watch: our top 10
• Meet our panel of judges for 2017 | 2016 edition | 2015 | 2014 | 2013 | 2012

AAFC’s forum laid bare an uncomfortable fact for all to see: there is no perfect candidate in this election

“This is not a game, it’s a mission.” Like a heat-seeking missile, Craig Foster’s entrance into Monday night’s community forum was as direct, as fervent and as unapologetic as the man himself. Cutting through the usual waffle of words about “consultative leadership” and the “headwinds” that were buffeting the game, the outspoken former Socceroo didn’t mince words – “it’s time to stop outsourcing our governance”, and it’s time to “build business around football, not the other way round”.

On a night in which seven of the 11 would-be directors of the first post-Lowy Football Federation Australia board outlined their credentials (with statements from a further two unable to attend in person) it’s hard not to conclude that Foster, a man who almost radiates with his fervour for football, was the headline success.

Complex Fifa calculations mean Australian hopes of a seeding now lie out of their hands

In the moments after the final whistle blew in Penrith at the weekend, the immediate effects of the Matildas’ defeat to Chile were apparent: frustration, disappointment and likely a degree of bewilderment over some profligate finishing at one end and shoddy defending at the other.

But the full consequences of the result are yet to fully materialise, with Australia’s hopes at next year’s World Cup potentially suffering from the result: the shock 3-2 home loss to the South Americans – ranked 39th in the world by Fifa – has put the Matildas’ chances of securing a crucial seeding for the tournament in jeopardy.

• More than 70,000 fans see United beat New York City FC
• Sporting KC will play Portland in Western Conference final

The fans showed their love for the coach before the game. Then Atlanta United’s players made sure Tata Martino has to stick around for at least a few more weeks.

Marco Reus scored twice as the Bundesliga leaders, Borussia Dortmund, came from behind to beat Bayern Munich 3-2 in a thrilling showdown at Signal Iduna Park. Robert Lewandowski had put Bayern ahead against his former club with a bullet header, but Reus equalised from the penalty spot early in the second half.

The Poland forward nodded in a second before Reus levelled again with a stunning finish and the substitute Paco Alcácer secured a memorable victory with a third on the break. Lewandowski was twice denied a hat-trick by an offside flag – the second coming deep into stoppage time – on a day when Dortmund opened up a seven-point lead over their rivals, who stay third.

• French Football Federation look into club’s recruitment policy
• French league of human rights files discrimination lawsuit

The French Football Federation has said its ethical council will look into Paris Saint-Germain’s recruiting policy after club scouts illegally profiled the ethnic origins of potential young recruits.

The federation said the council would have the right to ask the French league disciplinary commission to step in when its investigation was over.

Thousands flocked to Western Sydney to see superstar Sam Kerr’s Matildas - the result didn’t sour the positive impression

The Matildas’ growing army of fans – a new generation of golden girls, turned up in their thousands to see their heroine show off her famous skills. To prove it, many of them were kitted out in Australia shirts with Sam Kerr’s name emblazoned on the back.

The Penrith pitch was a perfect green and the blazing sun bathed the stadium in a golden light. Everything was set for the women in their matching colour scheme of green and gold to fire themselves up for next year’s World Cup with a ritual thrashing of Chile.

• Jessica McDonald scores winner in second USWNT appearance
• USA’s last defeat came in July 2017 against Australia

Jessica McDonald, making just her second appearance for the US, scored in the 43rd minute as her team recorded their 500th victory with a 1-0 win over Portugal in Lisbon on Thursday. The US are now 500-65-74 overall since their inception in 1985. With the victory, the Americans remain undefeated this year at 17 wins and two draws. The team’s last defeat came in a 1-0 loss to Australia in July 2017.

The streak comes as the US prepare for the World Cup next year in France. The defending World Cup champions qualified for the tournament last month at the Concacaf women’s championship. The United States are currently the top-ranked team in the world, while Portugal are ranked No33 and did not qualify for France.

• Australia 2-3 Chile (Van Egmond 9’, 90 + 3’; Lara 20’, Guerrero 48’, Huenteo 90’)
• Defensive errors could prove very costly to rankings

The Australian women’s national team have suffered a rare home defeat to Chile, who have secured a 3-2 smash-and-grab win in their international friendly in Sydney.

Emily van Egmond put Australia ahead on Saturday afternoon with a penalty on nine minutes and the in-form Aussies seemed on their way in front of a Matildas’ Sydney record crowd of 15,185 at Penrith Stadium.

In coastal Kenya a football organisation is revolutionising society by putting women in public spaces previously reserved for men

“We are pushing the boundaries that have been placed there for women and we were going beyond that. We have seen a lot of transformation working with the girls but we have also seen a change in how the community see girls and young women.”

Dorcas Amakobe is director of Moving the Goalposts, which runs women’s and girls’ football programmes in coastal Kenya. As she explains, the organisation’s impact in the Kilifi, Kwale, Mombasa and Tana River counties runs far beyond sport.

The top five clubs have played the bottom five 19 times this season and won every one. There is nothing to celebrate in the top flight’s great divide

Amid all the gloom enveloping those at the wrong end of the Premier League table, where Fulham, Cardiff, Huddersfield, Newcastle and Southampton have conceded 108 goals between them, suffered 36 defeats and registered only one victory each, there is a ray of hope. On the basis of the results so far, only 22 points will be needed to stay up this season.

Although 11 fixtures is not much of a sample size from which to calculate a points-per-game ratio, the numbers do not lie and there is no getting away from just how poor the standard is in the lower reaches of the Premier League this season. The fact that this is the first time in 27 Premier League seasons that five clubs have seven or fewer points from their opening 11 matches says it all.

Manchester City’s golden pair of old lags proved the dominant forces as the champions ran rings around Manchester United

On an afternoon of cold, imperious dominance at the Etihad Stadium, two things stood out. First Manchester City produced passages of football that were utterly breathtaking, so beautifully engineered in their movement and passing that at times the result felt like an inevitability.

And second David Silva and Sergio Agüero, the two most bizarrely gong-free superstars in the Premier League, were once again the dominant forces. It is an unarguable truth of this City project. For all the hundreds of millions spent, the renovation of every surface, the best trick City ever pulled was signing Silva and Agüero eight and seven years ago respectively.

WikiLeaks shone a light on the duplicity of US foreign policy. The Panama Papers laid bare the network of offshore banking, tax havens and legal loopholes that allows the global super-rich, political dynasties in authoritarian states and organised crime to (the bounds of all three being pretty fluid) hide their capital. But it may just be that Football Leaks, a website with a trove of insider contacts, astounding documents and very secure servers, will be the best guide to the malfeasance of the global economy and our crumbling international order.

In 2016, the site released documents, in association with Der Spiegel and a consortium of European media outlets, that made clear the widespread nature of illegal secret payments and tax avoidance in both the transfer market and in the ways clubs paid players’ salaries, not to mention the wealth and power that has accrued to agents. Since then, Lionel Messi, one of the highest-earning footballers of all time, has been found guilty of tax evasion, though, unsurprisingly, he will not be doing any jail time.

Your weekend round-up of the best photography from England’s top flight

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When José Mourinho faced the ladies and gentlemen of the Fourth Estate in the wake of his side’s humiliation at Manchester City on Sunday evening, The Fiver was curious to see how he’d spin the horrors of what he’d just seen unfold. It being too soon after the game for him to have gone full White House press secretary and show doctored footage that made it look as if Manchester United had actually won, Mourinho was left with little option but to rubbish the lack of knowledge of those rat-a-tatting statistics his way, by pointing out that things like match results and league positions don’t really amount to much in the cosmic scheme of things.

This morning’s fluff is chewing the cud

Despite pulling down the pants of their local rivals and administering a good spanking, Manchester City aren’t about to rest on their laurels. Pep Guardiola is once again being linked with a move for Ajax midfielder Frenkie de Jong, who is also wanted by Manchester United. One of the most technically gifted players you’ve almost certainly never seen, the ludicrously over-hyped 21-year-old has been compared to a young Andrés Iniesta and is already valued at around £50m.

An inability to use Marouane Fellaini as an impact substitute because he was forced to play him from the start was among José Mourinho’s more amusing excuses for his side’s defeat in the Manchester derby. “I can imagine when it was 2-1 to bring a fresh Fellaini, I think they would be in big, big trouble,” said the United boss, prompting a Mexican wave of raised eyebrows and muffled tittering from front row to back in his post-match press conference.

Our cartoonist on the possibility of impoverished big clubs finally stumbling upon a way to make some money

• If you like David’s cartoons, buy his new book: Goalless Draw

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Sweaty palms for days beforehand, that growing sense of nausea, brief moments of calm followed by sudden pangs of anxiety, dread creeping in like cold air under the door – no, The Fiver doesn’t relish its annual visits to Weird Uncle Fiver’s “bachelor pad”, with its squelchy carpets, distinctive odour and off-brand breakfast cereal. But it does mean The Fiver can empathise with fans facing the nerve-shredding prospect of a crunch derby.

Plus: Glenn Murray’s ridiculous record, a straight flush of goalscorers and Freddy Eastwood, Southend legend

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“I have a memory from an old childhood annual that Manchester United are the only team to have fielded three Ballon d’Or winners on the same pitch, back when Charlton, Law and Best were playing,” notes Dan Wardle. “Is this right? And which match featured the most winners at the same time?”

Dara O’Reilly kicks off with an excellent answer. “While Dan Wardle’s annual was probably correct at the time of going to press, I’m sure I won’t be the only person to point out that, when Michael Owen joined Luis Figo, Zinedine Zidane and Original Ronaldo at Real Madrid in 2004, that meant the club were able to, on numerous occasions over that season, field four players who had won football’s most prestigious individual prize.

Max is joined by Barry Glendenning, Gregg Bakowski and Mark Langdon to discuss Arsenal v Liverpool sharing points, James McClean, Juan Foyth and outfield players in goal

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Max Rushden is joined by Barry Glendenning, Gregg Bakowski and Mark Langdon to look back at another packed weekend of football, starting with the standout fixture between Arsenal and Liverpool, which finished as square as James Milner’s jaw.

Il Fenomeno’s one season at the Camp Nou brought 47 goals – one against Compostela will live long in the memory

Sometimes, you’re remembered for being close to history, rather than making it. Take SD Compostela: for most of their existence they’ve played in the Spanish regional leagues, but their four seasons in the top flight in the mid-1990s just happened to coincide with one of the greatest individual campaigns football has ever seen. Pretty much everyone outside of Spain remembers them for one moment, in a game they lost 5-1.

Ronaldo scored 47 goals in 1996-97, his only season at Barcelona, but it isn’t the numbers that make nostalgics go moist at the eye. At the most basic level, what thrilled in that season was his combination of speed and delicacy, impossible control at implausible pace, one of those rare players who appealed both viscerally and cerebrally. “I’m just a regular player – he’s on another planet,” said Juan Antonio Pizzi, the poor sod who occasionally had to deputise for him.

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Henry, still searching for his first win after five games in charge, is facing problems on and off the pitch at the Ligue 1 club

“People tell me after every match that it can’t get worse, but it does,” observed Thierry Henry after his team’s crushing 4-0 defeat by Club Brugge on Tuesday. That was Monaco’s worst-ever home defeat in Europe, inflicted by a team that had not won a Champions League match for 13 years. It came a few hours after Monaco’s billionaire owner, Dmitry Rybolovlev, was taken into police custody for questioning about corruption after being picked up at his sumptuous and suddenly very inaptly named house, La Belle Époque.

Related: What can we learn from Thierry Henry's debut as Monaco manager?

What a fascinating entry to international politics for the Football Association, who clearly anticipated the failure of a “red wave” to materialise in the US midterms and had their condemnatory response already prepared. In a move widely seen as the first salvo in a transatlantic cold war that will destroy the imaginary “special relationship”, Wayne Rooney (retired) has been called up for England’s friendly against the USA.

The decision to play Rooney can only – only! – be read as a fantastically pointed insult to the Americans, who may not have qualified for the last World Cup but against whom we are openly fielding a novelty player. You could not send a clearer message to the US, even if you made sure pitchside advertising hoardings throughout the match read ELECT SHIT GET BANGED. And in a very smart two-for-the-price-of-one, the FA also contrived to insult the Nations League, given England’s match with Croatia is the competitive fixture for which the England-USA friendly is notionally the warm-up.

A reporter stuck a microphone in Matthijs de Ligt’s face and asked the Ajax defender to choose a favourite out of Barcelona and Manchester City last month. The trap was obvious but De Ligt was too cute to walk into it. He shrugged his shoulders, smiled and gave a simple reply: “Ajax”.

But while it was smoothly done by the 19-year-old, Ajax are all too aware one soundbite will not be enough to drown out the noise when money starts to talk. Even though they are primed to reach the knockout phase of the Champions League for the first time since 2006, it is their misfortune to know their pedigree cannot protect them from the financial might of Europe’s leading clubs. Their list of honours contains four European Cups but history alone is not enough to lift Ajax up the economic ladder.