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The very English centre-forward is surplus to requirements at West Ham but another club could surely harness his talents

When the time comes for a big screen Andy Carroll biopic it may be a good idea to start with a chase scene. Perhaps even that traumatic attempted heist three years ago when a man on a moped stopped Carroll’s jeep after training and tried to get him to hand over his watch.

It led to some heroic quick reactions. Key details include Carroll crashing into “at least 10” cars as he drove away. Carroll shouting “I’m a Premier League footballer!” at the emergency services as he fled his pursuers. And Carroll heading rather sweetly not for the nearest police station but back to the West Ham training ground, like an antelope released into the wild and retracing the tyre tracks of its handlers, seeking the closest thing to home.

Some years ago Steve Bruce wrote a trilogy of football-based thrillers. Their hero was Steve Barnes, the all-action macho manager of Leddersford Town who devoted his spare time to solving murders and taking out terrorists in a style sufficiently swashbuckling to make even Lee Child’s creation Jack Reacher seem a bit of a wimp.

These days Newcastle United’s new manager laughs about that brief excursion into the literary world, joking that Striker, Sweeper and Defender are so bad they have become collectors’ items. So far, so lighthearted, yet, as he walks into Rafael Benítez’s old office, Bruce’s tried and trusted amalgam of humour and geordie charm will no longer be sufficient to disarm an army of critics on Tyneside.

Djamel Belmadi’s side were exciting throughout the tournament yet allowed their verve to take a back seat to time-wasting and diving to edge out Senegal 1-0 in the final

Why do Algeria make it so hard for themselves? They have been the best team at this Cup of Nations, and in that sense were worthy champions. But having taken an early lead against Senegal in Friday’s final and seeming dominant, they bafflingly resorted to spoiling, to diving, feigning injury and looking to pressure the officials. It brought victory, and perhaps that is enough, but play and they might have taken not only the cup but also glory.

It is not just that the niggliness makes them a hard team for outsiders to love; it presumably also means that no Algerian fan can take much pleasure in watching a rerun of what should be one of the finest moments in their history. See how Baghdad Bounedjah spreads his arms and screams at the referee! Watch as Amir Bensebaini trips a Senegal forward! Wonder as Raïs Mbohli runs down the clock! Marvel as Sofiane Feghouli recovers instantly from seemingly mortal injury! Welcome to the shithouse of fun!

• Clubs stand to earn nearly £350m from sponsorship
• 17 of 24 Championship clubs will have gambling sponsors
  

Half of the Premier League’s shirts will be emblazoned with a gambling company’s logo during the 2019-20 season, reigniting concern about the normalisation of betting among young fans.

Premier League clubs stand to earn a record £349.1m from shirt sponsorship deals in the coming season, a rise of more than 10% compare to £315.6m in 2018-19.

The British coach enjoyed such success in Norway with Brann in the 1970s that he was awarded honorary citizen status

SK Brann’s Europa League campaign ended on Thursday with a 2-1 defeat by Shamrock Rovers in Dublin, just down the road from where their very first continental adventure foundered 46 years ago at the hands of the Belfast side Glentoran. Decades of competition in Europe for the Norwegian club began under the guidance of an intrepid Englishman, Ray Freeman, who died this year and is remembered with great fondness.

Brann fans used to call him the Madman of Bergen because of his touchline gesticulations and hollering. But his method and personality won such admiration that within two years of his arrival he became the first person to be awarded honorary citizen status in Norway’s second-biggest city. He inspired Brann to their first Norwegian Cup triumph for 47 years. Which was some going for a man who took the job when he was only 27 and just after Brann’s star player, Roald Jensen, had been banned for kicking a referee up the backside.

After 342 days the season has finished for the Afcon finalists – three weeks before the Premier League restarts

The season finally finished for Sadio Mané and Riyad Mahrez with Friday’s Africa Cup of Nations final, more than 11 months after it started and three weeks before their clubs open their Premier League campaigns.

Mané’s appearance for Senegal was his 55th of a season that began with Liverpool on 12 August 2018 and has seen him play 4,789 minutes. Mahrez’s tally is lower at 49 matches and 3,194 minutes, having been in and out of the Manchester City team, but he too has played across 342 days of competitive fixtures.

• Alcacer, Delaney and Bruun Larsen score for Dortmund
• Klopp: ‘Organisation will be better later in pre-season’

Liverpool were beaten 3-2 by Borussia Dortmund in their first match of a pre-season tour to the US.

In stifling conditions at the Notre Dame stadium in Indiana, the European champions faced the Bundesliga runners-up in what Jürgen Klopp had called “the first proper test” of his side’s pre-season.

• Mateusz Bogusz scored the first ever goal at Bankwest Stadium
  
• Kwame Yeboah equalised for Western Sydney
• Pablo Hernandez fired the winner deep into added time

12.25pm BST

That was fun. As far as preseason friendlies go there was no quarter given by either side, both teams went out to win, and the atmosphere crackled as you would expect from a match to celebrate the opening of a new stadium.

Leeds left it late but were well worth their victory. Pablo Hernandez was the game’s decisive actor, probing throughout then taking matters into his own hands in the closing stages to make sure his side left Australia with a victory. Alongside the Spaniard Jack Harrison was excellent, as were the two full-backs, bombing down the flacks and creating overlaps all night. The form of Patrick Bamford might be of some concern. On another night the striker could have bagged a hat-trick but he looked a little off the pace close to the start of the Championship season.

12.11pm BST

Full-time at Bankwest Stadium and Leeds leave Sydney deserved winners.

All the latest deals and club-by-club guides for the Premier League, La Liga, the Bundesliga, Ligue 1 and Serie A

Finsbury Park and Trafalgar Square were deluged with more than 1,000 Algeria supporters after their national football team won the Africa Cup of Nations on Friday night

The England full-back will be working with Oscar Ortega, the Atlético Madrid coach who makes players run until they vomit

Oscar Ortega has a reputation for being a bit of a sadist. Nicknamed El Profe, the teacher, he is part man, part myth, mixing fear, fascination and fondness too, his very name striking terror into footballers’ hearts. Atlético Madrid’s fitness coach, a 61-year-old Uruguayan drill sergeant who spent the morning of the 2016 Champions League final doing laps of San Siro, Ortega likes nothing more than running them until they drop, vomit and pass out – while shouting at them. Or better still, laughing. So, ask Kieran Trippier’s new teammates what awaits him in Spain, and many would smile knowingly and reply, tongue in cheek: El Profe does.

Which might be just what he needs; it’s certainly a little different.

The Wales international Ethan Ampadu is close to continuing his development at RB Leipzig next season with Chelsea negotiating his departure on a season-long loan to the Bundesliga club.

Ampadu, who has eight senior caps, underwent a medical in Germany on Friday having been omitted from the Chelsea senior squad who are currently in Japan on a two-game pre-season tour.

• ‘Derby has good relations with a lot of teams,’ says new manager
• Loanees helped club reach Championship play-off final in 2019

Phillip Cocu has said he will not hesitate to call on his wealth of contacts as Derby County look to utilise the loan market that propelled them to last season’s Championship play-off final. The Dutchman, who was unveiled as Frank Lampard’s successor as manager on Friday, acknowledged that relationships with elite clubs could prove pivotal if Derby are to achieve his target of a top-six finish in his first season in England.

Cocu, who has a four-year contract, declined to discuss individual targets but said it would be “difficult” for the club to re-sign Fikayo Tomori or Harry Wilson, though Derby are understood to have made their admiration for the latter clear to Liverpool should the Welshman be made available for loan. Mason Mount, who also spent last season at Derby, is set to be involved under Lampard at Chelsea.

Pep Guardiola has said it is not vital Manchester City sign a new centre-back before the start of their Premier League title defence.

Related: Kompany quits Manchester City to become Anderlecht’s player-manager

• Frank Lampard’s side beaten by late Damiao header
• ‘I’m happy. They were a very good opponent,’ says Pulisic

Brazilian striker Damiao consigned Chelsea to a 1-0 defeat in Japan as J-League side Kawasaki Frontale claimed a famous pre-season scalp. The substitute’s late effort in Yokohama settled a game into which Frank Lampard’s men had gradually grown, but the Premier League side, who brought Christian Pulisic on as a second-half substitute, could not make the breakthrough.

A Chelsea starting lineup which included Willy Caballero, Mason Mount, Kenedy and Michy Batshuayi, struggled to break the hosts down with Pedro forcing an early save and sending another shot just over the bar before Kenedy blasted just wide from distance.

• Saint-Etienne defender set to be first major summer signing
• Spurs made late effort to hijack €30m (£27m) transfer

The young St-Étienne centre-back William Saliba has decided to join Arsenal despite a late attempt by Tottenham to sign the France Under-20 international.

Arsenal agreed a five-year deal with the 18-year-old last week and he looked all set to sign for the Gunners, but late interest from their North London rivals delayed the announcement.

• Striker moves to Chinese club for undisclosed fee
• Rondón was with Benítez at Newcastle last season

Salomón Rondón has linked up again with Rafael Benítez after joining the Chinese Super League club Dalian Yifang from West Bromwich Albion for an undisclosed fee.

Related: Steve Bruce pledges to ‘prove the doubters wrong’ at Newcastle

On Saturday Burnley play two friendlies at the same time. Dave Burnley hasn’t missed a game since 1974 – and he’s got no intention of missing either fixture

It had been discussed at length whether to jump in a car to try to see a half each of Burnley’s friendlies at Crewe and Port Vale on Saturday. But now I’ve decided on a plan of military precision that includes a taxi, a train and a rush at either end on foot.

Both matches kick off at 3pm and the two are less than 15 miles apart along the A500 – it’s actually called the A500 derby when Crewe and Vale play each other. The issue was whether I could get in at one of the grounds at half-time, which I looked into, because no one will be manning the turnstiles. So, the thinking was if I can just walk into the ground I would do both.

Barely heard of in Britain until it launched a spree of Premier League club sponsorships in 2016, the online gambling platform SportPesa has since spread its name across football, rugby, horseracing and Formula One, associating its branding with good works in Africa. At Everton, where SportPesa is the main sponsor, its name is prominent all over Goodison Park, the club have been in Kenya for a pre-season tour, and they promote SportPesa’s “Kits for Africa” initiative, with a donation bin in the club store.

Everton’s chief executive, Denise Barrett-Baxendale, wrote in the club’s annual report: “We value our developing relationship with SportPesa, who have demonstrated a strong alignment with our values.” A spokesperson for Everton, who describe themselves as “the people’s club”, said Barrett-Baxendale was referring to the sponsor’s support for the club’s extensive community work, which she herself pioneered in the deprived areas around Goodison Park.

When the curtain falls on Egypt’s Africa Cup of Nations on Friday night, the overwhelming sense among many local residents will be one of relief. Senegal and Algeria will contest the final but there is a feeling, at the end of a hastily arranged tournament that divided home supporters and saw their team fall short of expectations, that the past month is best swept under the carpet. The country sought political capital from extending the arm of help to its continent when Cameroon was stripped of hosting rights last year, but the gains have been hard to discern.

“Nobody can deny the fact there’s a connection between politics and the organisation of this tournament,” said Ziad Akl, an analyst with the Ahram Centre for Political and Strategic Studies. “The national discourse overshadowing this whole thing is that this is a matter of patriotism, not a matter of football.”

The Spanish defender talks about Barcelona, how football became his cure and clears up rumours of liking Napalm Death

Hi Carles. Hi Small Talk.

We’re talking to you because of yoghurt, why don’t you tell us a bit about that? I am very proud to be an ambassador for the Danone Nations Cup, one of the best tournaments out there for U12s to play football. It takes place at a local level in 27 countries and the final will be played in Barcelona in October.

The 18-year-old attacking full-back was born in the Netherlands to an American father. And his international career is blooming for the States

There is a new generation of US stars emerging at Europe’s elite clubs. And among this talent-rich class is a player who – in soccer terms at least – is American only by chance.

Sergiño Dest, an 18-year-old full-back who signed his first professional contract with Ajax in December last year, was born and raised in Almere in the Netherlands to a Dutch mother and a US serviceman father. He hadn’t even visited the States until a trip to New York City – his father’s hometown – in 2014, and hadn’t considered representing the US until the possibility came up in a phone call.

Fans have been celebrating Algeria’s Africa Cup of Nations title after a second-minute goal by Baghdad Bounedjah gave them a 1-0 win over Senegal in the final. Their players and fans celebrated a career-defining achievement as the Fennec Foxes claimed their second continental title and their first since 1990

New Juventus signing Matthijs de Ligt seemed excited about making a name for himself in Serie A at his first press conference, saying “it is the country that loves defending the most in the world. If you talk about Italian players, for me the most common names that come up are the defenders.”

The Dutch defender completed a £67.5m move from Ajax to Juventus on Thursday

Newly appointed Newcastle boss Steve Bruce is quietly confident he will do a good job at the club despite admitting he is “not everyone’s cup of tea.”

The 58-year-old, who has succeeded Rafael Benítez, was speaking at his first Newcastle United press conference.

His appointment has been criticised by the club’s fans

Kieran Trippier has  joined Atlético Madrid from Tottenham Hotspur in a deal worth at least £20m.

The England full-back, who made over 100 appearances during a four-season stint at the north London club, has signed a three-year contract at the Wanda Metropolitano. 

Trippier was one of the most impressive performers as England finished fourth at the World Cup in Russia last summer, scoring early in the semi-final defeat by Croatia in Moscow, but endured a dip in form last season. 

Steve Bruce has admitted he faces a 'huge challenge' after being appointed the head coach of Newcastle United on a three-year contract.

The 58-year-old quit his job at Sheffield Wednesday and is replacing the widely admired Rafael Benítez, who left St James' Park last month after failing to agree a contract extension with the club's owner, Mike Ashley.

The former Sunderland and Aston Villa manager's chances of success with the Magpies are complicated by Ashley, who wants to sell the club, and fans increasingly venting their anger over the lack of investment and ambition on Tyneside.

• Steve Bruce faces tough task at Newcastle but he is used to adversity

Chelsea manager Frank Lampard said he is 'happy' with his squad ahead of their pre-season matches against Barcelona and Kawasaki Frontale.

Uefa handed Chelsea a two-window transfer ban after the club were found guilty of breaching rules regarding their dealings with overseas players under the age of 18

• Transfer window 2019 – every summer deal from Europe's top five leagues
  

• ‘This is the respect people have,’ says Santos coach
  
• Team were travelling to play Iranduba two days later

The coach of Santos women’s team has criticised the Brazilian Football Confederation after her players were forced to spend part of the night in a hotel lobby before a crucial first division game.

“This is the respect that people have for women’s football in Brazil,” said Emily Lima, as she recorded on video the players curled up on hotel sofas. “Goodnight to everyone who’s going to sleep quietly in their own beds before working the next day.”

Cameroon have sacked Clarence Seedorf after their disappointing performance at the Africa Cup of Nations, his departure coming after the country’s sports minister had demanded his exit.

Seedorf’s assistant, the former Netherlands striker Patrick Kluivert, has also been axed after the defending champions were dumped out in the last 16, losing 3-2 to Nigeria.

Atlético Madrid are not happy, even with €120m, and there are doubts that the Frenchman will fit in with Messi and Suárez

The moment of Antoine Griezmann’s departure to Barcelona was broadcast live on television, 393 days after the Frenchman announced his decision to turn down Barcelona and stay at Atlético Madrid in a TV documentary. It had just gone 1pm on Friday when his legal representative arrived at the headquarters of La Liga wheeling a silver suitcase into the building, where he deposited the €120m (£107.6m) buyout clause that releases the striker from his contract, five years after his arrival. Barcelona confirmed the transfer two hours later.

Griezmann’s new deal will run for five years and contains a buyout clause – a legal stipulation in Spain – worth €800m. For all the twists in the plot, the crossed words and accusations, this signing had been set up from the start. It was only going to end one way and if it took longer than expected it was concluded when Griezmann’s lawyer, Sevan Karian, arrived at La Liga’s HQ – although Atlético say that €120m is not enough, claiming the true value to be €200m.

The former USA coach admitted he ‘failed’ during his brief stay in the Premier League. But his new team are close to unstoppable this season

Los Angeles already had the most successful franchise in Major League Soccer history. A team that have won more championships (five) and made more MLS Cup finals (nine) than any other. Between 2011 and 2014, three titles were delivered by an array of global superstars and a coach once dubbed the Sir Alex Ferguson of American soccer.

LAFC’s unashamed aim was always to usurp the Galaxy when they made their MLS debut last year. The way they saw it, Los Angeles didn’t even have a team, with the Galaxy playing their games out by the tennis courts and suburban communities of Carson. LAFC, on the other hand, play so close to downtown that the skyline is visible between the stands of the Banc of California Stadium.

Sweden’s Kosovare Asllani has a very different view of the Women’s World Cup third-place match to Phil Neville, who labelled it a “nonsense” game, and it is fair to say that plenty of her compatriots agree with her. When the Sweden team returned from the victory over England that secured a bronze medal they were greeted by 30,000 fans in Gothenburg.

“A sign of a nation that is proud of us,” says Asllani, the midfielder who scored her country’s opening goals against Chile and England. The staggering reception came as a pleasant surprise to a squad not wholly aware of the momentum building back home during their run to the semi-finals.

• Australia drawn with Jordan, Taipei, Kuwait and Nepal
• Top two from Group B advance to final qualifying round

Australia have been drawn Nepal, Jordan, Taiwan and Kuwait in the second Asian qualifying round for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar, which also serves as first qualifiers for the 2023 Asian Cup.

The Socceroos are gunning for a fifth straight World Cup appearance and head one of five groups made up of 40 nations in the Asian confederation.

• Midfielder says wedding ring and key to New York were taken
• Long, 31, made long-awaited World Cup debut against Chile
• De Blasio promises city will replace symbolic key on Twitter

The celebration was cut short for a member of the World Cup champion United States women’s soccer team after she discovered someone had burglarized her hotel room at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Los Angeles.

Allie Long tweeted on Thursday it happened after the team was honored at the ESPY awards on Wednesday night.

• Leonardo updates transfer saga in French newspaper interview
• Neymar misses training amid speculation of return to Barcelona

Paris St Germain sporting director Leonardo is prepared to sell Neymar after the Brazil forward failed to report for pre-season training.

Neymar was scheduled to report back to the French club’s training ground on Monday but was absent without leave as speculation surrounds a move back to his former club Barcelona.

• France forward fails to show up for pre-season training
• Atlético are demanding Barcelona pay €120m fee up front

Atlético Madrid have opened disciplinary proceedings against Antoine Griezmann that could result in a fine after he failed to turn up for training.

Griezmann is awaiting a move to Barcelona and the battle between the clubs and the player is growing increasingly bitter. The France forward did not show up at the club’s Majadahonda headquarters on Sunday evening and did not travel with the rest of the squad to San Rafael de los Angeles northwest of the Spanish capital.

We take a look at one young player from each Premier League club who can make an impact this summer

Bukayo Saka, 17, winger

Haller scores goals, sets them up, makes tackles, leads from the front and has a far better attitude than the striker he is replacing

By Martin Laurence for WhoScored

So, it’s official. West Ham have broken their transfer record for the third consecutive summer with the arrival of French striker Sébastien Haller from Eintracht Frankfurt. The 25-year-old has the task of replacing Marko Arnautovic, another forward who was once their most expensive signing.

Haller was apparently not the club’s first choice – Maxi Gómez chose Valencia over West Ham so he could play in the Champions League – but missing out on the Uruguayan forward may prove a blessing. Haller is nearly three years older than Gómez, but he is a much more complete striker and is better equipped to make an immediate impact.

As one half of Saint and Greavsie, the former striker spoke about the sport he loved with enjoyment and wit. We could do with some of that now

“I am someone who believes that what we need without a doubt is more of Jimmy Greaves,” wrote the performance poet John Hegley in Greavsie, an ironic yet affectionate early-1990s paean to a then ubiquitous figure. “The more I get of Greaves, the more my life achieves.”

The Premier League’s paywall model would soon be bringing down the curtain on one of the more curious and varied media careers of an ex-footballer. ITV’s failure to land broadcast rights to what the victor, Sky, would trail as a “whole new ball game” meant the axe for Saint and Greavsie in July 1992.

We thought Manchester City would pip Liverpool to the title, but we also said Watford would go down

What we said: “Pep Guardiola’s talented side look well placed to become the first team to retain the Premier League title since Manchester United did it in 2009.”

The best players, greatest games and standout signings – plus those that didn’t work out, and what needs to change

Ed Aarons: Virgil van Dijk. Raheem Sterling runs him close but in terms of impact and influence, the big Dutchman has been peerless.

Photo editor Jonny Weeks reviews a tumultuous football season through some of its best, weirdest and most defining images

On an average weekend, The Guardian receives around 12,000 photographs from Premier League matches via its staff, agency and contributor photographers. That’s almost half a million images per season. Some capture extraordinary joy and despair; some bear witness to defining moments in the title race; some owe greatly to the creativity of the men and women behind the lenses; and some, like this first one from August, feature the rare but always amusing sight of a referee nearly getting thwacked by a ball.

Who can’t wait to get out? Who sees trains? And who lost 6-0?

Which team suffered the heaviest defeat of the season?

Cardiff City

Bournemouth

Fulham

Chelsea

Which team lost 10 London derbies?

West Ham

Fulham

Crystal Palace

Arsenal

Three players shared the golden boot with 22 goals each. Which continent are they from?

Europe

South America

Africa

Asia

Which team won the majority of their points from away matches?

Tottenham Hotspur

Crystal Palace

Huddersfield Town

Fulham

Who scored 37.1% of his team’s goals – the highest percentage in the league?

Glenn Murray

Aleksandar Mitrovic

Jamie Vardy

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang

What is the missing word in this quote: "It is like a **** that, every day in 10 years, sees the train cross in front at the same time. If you ask the **** what time is the train going to come, it is not going to know the right answer. In football, it is the same. Experience, yes, but hunger, motivation, circumstance, everything is so important."

Player

Farmer

Conductor

Cow

Four clubs had stints at the top of the league. Liverpool were top for 141 days; Manchester City were top for 125 days; and Chelsea were top for nine days. Which club was top for one day?

Manchester United

Leicester City

West Ham

Southampton

A 38-year-old set up a goal for a 35-year-old in October. Which team were they playing for?

West Ham

Brighton

Newcastle United

Watford

Who said: “We are going to make much more points in the second part of the season than we did in the first part”?

Mark Hughes

Claudio Ranieri

David Wagner

José Mourinho

What was the state of play in the title race at the start of 2019?

Liverpool and Manchester City were level on points and goal difference

Liverpool were two points clear

Liverpool were four points clear

Liverpool were seven points clear

Two managers started their reigns by going unbeaten for 12 league games. Ole Gunnar Solskjær and …

Unai Emery

Maurizio Sarri

Brendan Rodgers

Ralph Hasenhüttl

Which club started the season with three defeats and finished it with three victories?

Burnley

Southampton

Brighton

West Ham

There are currently five English managers in the league. How many of them finished in the top half?

None

One

Two

Three

Who was talking about what when he said: “I can't wait to get out of it, if I'm honest. I think we'll be far better out of the bloody thing”?

Sean Dyche on the Europa League

Mauricio Pochettino on the League Cup

Jürgen Klopp on the FA Cup

Neil Warnock on the European Union

What did Harvey Elliott do this season?

He became the youngest referee in Premier League history

He made two appearances and picked up two red cards

He became the youngest player in Premier League history

He scored five goals without starting a game

Southampton, Manchester United, Huddersfield and Leicester did it once. Who did it twice?

Chelsea

Fulham

Newcastle

Watford

Who was the top scoring Englishman in the league this season?

Harry Kane

Callum Wilson

Jamie Vardy

Raheem Sterling

Who has joined a group of players that contains Henning Berg, Ashley Cole, Gaël Clichy, Robert Huth, Nicolas Anelka, Kolo Touré, Carlos Tevez and N'Golo Kanté?

Raheem Sterling

Riyad Mahrez

Alisson

Virgil van Dijk

Huddersfield only won three games all season. Which team did they beat twice?

Fulham

Tottenham Hotspur

Wolves

Southampton

1 and above.

You are the Fulham of football quizzes

2 and above.

You've been relegated

5 and above.

You've avoided relegation – but only just

3 and above.

You've been relegated

4 and above.

You've avoided relegation – but only just

6 and above.

You've avoided relegation – but only just

7 and above.

A solid, midtable finish

8 and above.

A solid, midtable finish

9 and above.

A solid, midtable finish

10 and above.

You've earned a place in the Europa League

11 and above.

You've earned a place in the Europa League

12 and above.

You've earned a place in the Champions League

13 and above.

You've earned a place in the Champions League

14 and above.

That's a top-four finish

15 and above.

That's a top-four finish

16 and above.

You've been pipped to the title – just like Liverpool

17 and above.

You've been pipped to the title – just like Liverpool

18 and above.

You've been pipped to the title – just like Liverpool

0 and above.

You are the Huddersfield of football quizzes

19 and above.

You are the Manchester City of football quizzes!

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, football was a game in which two teams battled for the ball and, when they had it, tried to score a goal. Teams had different ways of doing that. They used strength and they used pace and they used skill. They tried different shapes. They tried to win the ball back in different parts of the pitch. The ball could be capricious and hard to tame, but pretty much everybody agreed that it was safer not to let your opponents have too much of it.

Related: Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City can be judged with England’s very best | Richard Williams

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Senegal, regular producers of remarkable players, have been champions of Africa exactly as many times as Djibouti, Andorra, Burnley, Richard Keys, Danny Mills and Weird Uncle Fiver. So when Senegalese fans look at their international trophy cabinet, all they see is Ali Dia’s gong for top b@ntz and a certified letter from El Hadji Diouf in which he confirms he is the greatest sportsman who ever lived. But all that could be spittle under the bridge if the Teranga Lions do the business in Cairo on Friday, when they take on Algeria in the 2019 Africa Cup of Nations final.

This gossip doesn’t recognise all of these things

The transfer window is full of surprises, so here’s another. It turns out that, after spending more than £400m on players already this summer, Real Madrid have no money left with which to sign Paul Pogba. Apparently this is not because they never actually wanted him in the first place and have no use for an unreliable adornment who has never been the best player in a good team. As such, Florentino Pérez must convince Zinedine Zidane to use Gareth Bale instead – once the Open is finished, of course.

Another Manchester United player who might not be on the move is Romelu Lukaku. Inter are interested in securing his services, but are not sure that he’s worth £75m. It’s now up to Ed Woodward to explain that the fee includes not just the player but the antique grand piano he carries around with him on the pitch.

Plus: outfield players wearing trousers and more tennis-playing footballers. Mail us or tweet @TheKnowledge_GU

“Last week QPR sold Matt Smith to Millwall and signed another Matt Smith on loan from Manchester City … on the same day,” writes Martyn Bryce. “Do readers have other examples of such dealings with players of the same name.”

It doesn’t happen often Martyn, but there are some examples. Ryan Geraghty takes us back a year to the north-west of England to get the ball rolling. “I’m sure you will have a few readers responding with this one: I recall last summer Reece James – formerly of Manchester United – being released by Wigan only for Wigan to sign Reece James on loan from Chelsea. I didn’t suspect he would go on to be their player of the season and now be linked with Crystal Palace, but the name stuck in my mind. And, of course, there were the Dembélés at Fulham.”

Our cartoonist on the only sport story that anyone in the world is really talking about

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During his second stint in management as boss of Huddersfield Town, Steve Bruce somehow found time to author three crime thrillers entitled Striker! Sweeper! and Defender! Read by few at the time but now increasingly expensive and difficult to find as collectors’ items, they have become the The Gutenberg Bibles of noir football fiction. “I looked around the stadium and sighed,” whispers crime-fighting Leddersfield Town manager Steve Barnes, looking around the stadium and sighing, in one of them. “Football is a business, and a tough one at that, but the green playing area, well, that really is the field of dreams.” Well, if Barnes thought solving the murder of his club’s groundsman was tricky and full of pitfalls, his author ego has now been tasked with the much more difficult job of dealing with what is increasingly viewed as a field of nightmares by those who sit on all four sides of it.

The future of the women’s game has never looked brighter but keeping fans interested after the World Cup is vital to its growth

The Women’s World Cup has been a tournament we will look back on as the point when all of our longstanding expectation of what women’s football could be was realised. You just have to look at television viewing figures around the world, which have been better than anything the men’s game has managed this year with nearly 12 million people tuning in to watch England’s semi-final defeat by USA and another 25 million in Brazil watching their last-16 game. That is immense.

Related: Fifa's VAR bumbling hurt a World Cup in which the women's game shone | Hope Solo

“If I arrived at the hospital one day later than I did, this interview would not happen. I arrived at the hospital too late to find out the root of the infection; they put me straight into a coma. After I woke up, they asked me what my name was and the seven times table. All of my face muscles were paralysed – it was an infection of the brain. I spent three weeks quarantined in hospital on powerful antibiotics, directly to the veins. I couldn’t eat, I had to keep my eyes covered because I was so sensitive to light. I was very scared.”

Karel Poborsky still does not know how he got ill in the summer of 2016 – one theory is that a tick living in his beard bit him – but the important thing is that he is now healthy and well. Sitting in the reception of a plush London hotel alongside his long-term partner, Andrea Tomsu, his eyes dance brightly behind a pair of horn-rimmed glasses and he talks animatedly about his life and career.

Imagine England losing the 2005 Ashes, Sir Alex Ferguson managing Spurs and women’s and men’s football being equal

Australians wishing to hush the buzz of your average Pom (read: most Australians) will never tire of pointing out the only two Tests England won in the 2005 Ashes were the ones Glenn McGrath missed.

The Southampton striker talks about growing up in Thurnby Lodge, playing non-league and being named after Che Guevara

Che Adams confirms it is “Shay” rather than “Chay” before he sits down to discuss how he has become Southampton’s newest signing in a £14m deal from Birmingham City but the spelling of his name begs an obvious question. Is there any connection to Che Guevara?

“Yeah, it was where I got my name from,” Adams replies, breezily. “Che Guevara was in the news around the time that I was born and I think it was something to do with where his body was buried, although I’m not sure. My mum just really liked the name.”

Steve Bruce is normally a safe if somewhat unexciting pair of managerial hands, though as supporters of Sheffield United, Birmingham City and Wigan Athletic will attest, he does have a penchant for resigning or leaving to further his career elsewhere. As recently as January he was claiming his 10th club, Sheffield Wednesday, may be the last he would manage but presumably he always knew that, if the call came from Newcastle, he would find it hard to resist.

What he does at most clubs is steady the defence, sort out a settled team and begin to make small but significant improvements. Newcastle are certainly in need of someone who can do that but they have just lost an arch-pragmatist and organisational master in Rafa Benítez and it remains doubtful whether Bruce is quite up to the Spaniard’s tactical standards or as stoically diplomatic in adverse circumstances.

It’s that time of the year when clubs bring out their strips for the coming season, so which ones do we look back on fondly?

There’s history behind this one. It was the first ever fluorescent outfield shirt (according to Umbro, at least) and kicked off a trend that has never really gone away (no surprise given it was said at the time that it was the best selling shirt, other than England kits, that Umbro had ever produced). But more importantly, to me at least, it was a) the first away shirt I ever owned and b) the shirt Sheffield United wore as they stormed to promotion to the old First Division in 1990, which was achieved via a 5-2 win against Leicester City at Filbert Street on the final day of that season. They also wore it the following season, their first campaign in the top flight since the mid-70s. A truly iconic shirt among Blades. JA